Dear Hope: Ask the Hope Girls: My Friends Think My Boyfriend is Ugly
Wow, we finally did it! We are still learning and adjusting some things, but we made the move. We are so happy and excited about all the support we have gotten so far. Thank you, everyone! We could not have done it without you all.
Here is our first “Dear Hope” question. As you can see it’s a little different. We will still be answering questions every Sunday, we just changed things a bit. Same people, same great advice, new look!
This will be the last full question on this site. You can always check us out at thehopegirls.com
There’s this boy I have been hanging out with for a few weeks. My friends didn’t know because I was waiting until we were actually going out.
Well, they just found out and they said they understood why I didn’t tell them. It’s because he’s ugly and I was embarrassed. They said he’s nice but looks wise I could do much better.
I was really upset by what they said because I like him and I think he’s super cute.
Why would they say that?
My friends have always supported me so why are they acting this way now. What should I do? I’m mad at them.
Wow! Of course you were upset. Your friends were being rude.
Our first reaction was to say ditch those friends. But we believe in second chances. They’re your good friends and they have always been supportive. They just had a moment of temporary mean girl syndrome. We’ve decided to give them another try and we think you should too.
We don’t know why they said what they said.
They could be secretly jealous.
They might feel left out or worried that you will spend too much time with him.
Or maybe they just don’t think he’s cute and were being rudely honest.
It actually doesn’t matter why. You have to let that go and stop thinking about it.
What happens next is up to you. If you like this guy, be confident about it. What you like is not what they like. Who cares! That does not and should not matter.
Our advice is to be yourself and date the person that is right for you.
You should also have a conversation with your friends. Make it clear that you are not okay with them talking like that. Whether they think he is cute or not doesn’t matter. He is your boyfriend, you like him, and you think he is super cute. End of story!
Let them know you have always appreciated their support and honesty, but back off when it comes to your boyfriend’s looks.
GOOD friends are definitely worth trying to keep. But, if they continue to be “mean girls” it might be time to move on. They never have to think your boyfriend is cute or even like him, but they do need to treat you with respect.
Gabriella Says: When I started dating a new guy a few years ago, my friend got super jealous. Instead of talking to me about it, she would say mean things about him and told me I was ruining our friendship. Our friendship had not changed, but she definitely did. I wanted (and tried) to work it out with her, but in the end, I realized it was better (even though it still hurt) to walk away.
Thanks for this question! It is always hard when you feel torn between your friends and a relationship. Good luck! We hope you can work things out with your friend!