Dear Hope: Who Am I?

Dear Hope,who am i
I want to figure out who I am. I was born a girl and I comfortable with that, but I like to dress more like a boy. I’m wondering if I’m transgender. I’m 14 and I feel like I should know by now. I want to know who I am so I can be me. How can I figure this out?
– Who Am I

Dear Who Am I,
There is no timeline when it comes to knowing who you are. It takes time to truly understand yourself. Trust me when I say you are not alone in this. We are all continuously trying to figure out who we are.

As long as you are being authentic and doing what feels right to you in the moment, you are being you.

It’s great that you have the courage to be yourself. So many people try pretending to be what others want them. We are all the happiest is when we are being true to who we are.

Take some time to:

Dream: Think about the future you. How does your life look? Think about your ideal job, your life partner. What do you look like? Whatever your dreams are could give you an idea of who you want to be.

Say It: Use different pronouns. Look in the mirror and say I am a… boy, girl, etc. Also try saying I am not… Does one feel right? Does one feel wrong?

It is possible that you identify as transgender, but it is also possible that you just enjoy dressing like a “boy”.

Remember!

It’s totally ok if you feel something one day and change your mind later. Whatever you feel in the moment is valid.

The key is being comfortable and proud of each step in your discovery.

You might find these links helpful.

Teen Survival Guide – This site gives you some questions to think about It’s designed to help introduce you to a variety of genders.

TSER – Trans Student Educational Resources

TrevorSpace – A safe LGBTQ social network where you can connect with other teens

YouTube – There are a lot of teens talking about their own experiences.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

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