Dear Hope: Everything Seems To Be Falling Apart
Everything seems to just be falling apart. My family is always mad at me for basically no reason, my friends are being anything but what a friend should be, my teachers are giving me bad grades even though I deserve higher ones and give us homework that they are actually not allowed to give us rule-wise, and to top it all off most kids are bullying me because of my race, gender, sexuality and other stuff. I’ve developed social anxiety and depression and I’m too scared to anyone about it. No-one cares about what I’m going through. It’s just impossible to deal with. Is there a way you can help me?
Dear Falling Apart,
Having social anxiety and depression can make you feel helpless and alone. You are not those things. There are people who care, people that can help you, and things you can do yourself.
The idea that nobody cares can sometimes mean that you are not getting the emotional support you need. People don’t always know or understand what someone else is going through. That doesn’t mean they don’t care. They are just dealing with stuff, too. I know you’re scared, but you need to tell someone what is wrong.
It’s scary to put yourself out there, but it’s worth it. You matter. Your worries matter. You deserve to be heard. Trust me; it will be a relief to get your feelings out.
I know you can do this. You were brave enough to send in this question. That shows you want things to get better. I’m not going to sugar coat this. When you talk about it, you may not get the reaction that you hope. Unfortunately, you cannot predict or control how someone will react. Again, remember that it does not mean they don’t care. It just means they’re not sure at first how to handle it. Give them a chance to process and figure it out with you.
If you feel uncomfortable telling your parents first, that’s okay. You could talk to an aunt, uncle or a grandparent. Just find someone to talk to.
You could even talk to a counselor online. I don’t which country you live in, but you can talk to any of these links online from any country. They also have a lot of helpful information.
Childline – You can contact them about anything. You can talk to them through email, or online chat. They also have a message board with a variety of topics and stories. It is a private and confidential service.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – You can also contact them about anything. They are there to listen and offer you advice on how to get the help you need. It is not just about being suicidal.
Remember you do not have to go through this alone.
You also said you are being bullied. That is not your fault and you don’t have to put up with it. This is just another reason to talk to someone. You need help to stop the bullying. It is not something you can or should handle on your own. Here is a site I’m Getting Bullied, you can share your story with others or read theirs.
Taking care of yourself is an important part of this process.
Sleep: Make sure you are getting enough sleep. Sleep will help relax you and energize you for the next day.
Get moving: It can be hard to get active when you feel down, but it really helps. A quick walk can give you a positive boost.
Eat: Food contains the vitamins you need to feel your best. Don’t skip meals. Try to avoid too much sugar and caffeine. Sugar and caffeine can leave you feeling tired and irritable.
Focus on the good: A good suggestion is to journal about the things that make you happy. When something good happens take time to write it down. Read over them any time you’re feeling down. Use them as little reminders.
Although these things are good, they do not replace you getting help. I’m glad you reached out with this question and now I am asking you to talk to someone. I care about you and know that this can get better.
Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.