Monthly Archives: June 2016

Dear Hope: Freaking Out About Pictures I Sent

Dear Hope,Sexting
My boyfriend and I have been sending pictures to each other privately through social media. They are revealing so we don’t want anyone else to see. We never showed anyone but someone said that they are not private if they on the internet. Is that true? We have deleted them, but we are freaking out!!
– L&H

Dear L&H,
If neither of you showed anyone and no one looked at your phone, chances are no one will see them. However, even though you have deleted all of your pictures, they can still be in cyberspace. That is one of the problems with sending revealing pictures.
What is done, is done and you cannot take them back. Try not to freak out, but I don’t suggest you send anymore.
I don’t know your age or where you live, but it can be illegal to send revealing pictures if you are underage.
The only way to be 100% sure you don’t have revealing pictures out there is to not take any.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

5 Ways You Can Be Lazy This Summer And Still Buy A Taco

Lazy Summer Taco
Its summer!

School’s out and all you want to do is sleep in, play video games and maybe go to Taco Bell once in a while.
Sounds pretty much perfect, but you’re going to need money to buy that taco. So unless you’ve got an endless supply from mom and dad, you need money.
I’m not talking loads of money, but just enough to get by. Yes, there will be plenty of kids working there tushies off all summer saving for a car or for college, but maybe that’s not you.

So what can you do to make some coin?

Here are five ways YOU can be lazy this summer and still buy a taco:

1. Dig through your couches and find loose change.
Find change anywhere (Not from your mom’s purse) and take it to a change machine at your local grocery store and cash it in. Change adds up – I see a burrito with your name on it.
2. Talk to a neighbor about mowing their lawn.
They may want it mowed every week or every two weeks or even once a month. How long does it take to mow a yard? Bonus, it doesn’t have to be done every day. It’s a great way to make some money for little effort. You can set up to do several lawns. The more you do, the more dollars you make.
3. See if anyone wants his or her dog walked.
Walking a dog for 30-60 minutes a day. Yes, it is daily, but it takes an hour at the most. Still less than a part time job and still gives you plenty of gaming time.
4. Find out if any neighborhood parents need a date night.
You could babysit once a week so they can have a night out. Or, you can be a mother’s helper. Offer to play with the kids once or twice a week for an hour for a small fee. Mom can have some me time and you make some easy cash. Again, it only takes a few hours a week.
5. Look for neighbors that could use some help.
You could carry in their groceries or get their mail.
One summer I got the mail for a woman who lived on my street. She couldn’t walk to her mailbox so I brought it to her. It took five to ten minutes out of my day and she paid me. You can take a bathroom break longer than that.

There you go. Simple ways to make a few extra dollars.

Your welcome.

Now go. Go forth, be lazy and enjoy your tacos.

Bonus: Did I mention your couch (and butt) will thank you. While you are away for a couple hours a week (or less), your couch cushions can air out and fluff back up.

– NBL V –

Dear Hope: Tired of Wearing Glasses

Dear Hope,glasses
I’m tired of wearing glasses. I have worn glasses my whole life and I want contacts. My parents said they don’t think I’m ready. They think I need to show more responsibility. I even have enough money to buy the first box. How can I prove I’m responsible enough?
– Contact Ready

Dear Contact Ready,
When it comes to showing parents your responsible, it’s about taking care of your business.

Examples:

Keeping your room clean
Getting all of your homework done
Completing the chores they have given you
Taking care of pets
Being nice to siblings
Not being rude to your parents

I don’t know what you already do or don’t do. All I can say is to take a look at the areas you can improve. If you’re already being super responsible, then it’s time to talk to your parents. Let them know the types of things you do to show responsibility.

Try asking them for a trial period. Maybe you can suggest that you will buy the first box with your own money. Then you can show them how responsible you are. If it all works out then they can start getting you contacts.

If they decide they are not ready to agree to contacts, don’t get mad. Just smile and say ok maybe we can discuss this again in a few weeks. Then just keep proving that you are ready. If you get angry or stop doing chores, it will just prove them right. Be strong and you will get your contacts eventually.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Dear Hope: Is It Too Late to Say Sorry?

Dear Hope,Bullying
My question is about bullying. I wasn’t bullied. I was the bully. There was this girl that lived in my neighborhood and no one liked her. I think just because she acted weird. I don’t know for sure we were 12 so who knows why. Well we lived on the same street and every time I would walk home that summer, I would see her in her driveway. I always gave her a mean look and called her a weird b*tch. At the end of the summer she moved and I never saw her again. I felt bad about it and I have never done anything like that since. I am 17 now and I just went to a party in the next town and she was there. I don’t think she saw me because I left and freaked out. I feel really bad about how I treated her that summer. I know the girl that had the party and I found out she is Facebook friends with the girl. I know I’m not a bully, but I was that summer and I still feel bad. What can I do? I have been thinking about contacting her through FB, should I do that? Is it too late to say sorry? Is there any way to make it right?
– Once a bully

Dear Once A Bully,
What you did that summer obviously wasn’t good, but you already know that. You cannot go back and change it, but what you can do is move forward. I think it would be okay to send her an apology through FB. Just say how you feel and express how sorry you are for what you did. It’s never too late to say sorry. She may not respond and that’s okay. Although she might appreciate your apology, she may not want contact with you.

Beyond saying sorry, you should not focus on it anymore. It’s in the past and you are not a bully. I can see that you are sincere and have learned from this experience. Appreciate what you have learned, forgive yourself, and let it go.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

How Do You Pick Your Role Model?

Role Model

Have you ever walked past a row of shiny magazines?

Their glossy covers of beautiful people with perfect hair and great bodies are hard to ignore. Have you ever looked at these celebrities smizing and thought, I want to be just like her or him? Even when you read the articles, they seem to focus on superficial things.

They paint a picture of perfection.

Magazines tell us to make choices based on looks and popularity. They take talented people, put them in a box and say, THIS should be your role model!

Look at her perfect skin, his amazing muscles, this fabulous outfit and glamorous life! They are famous and “perfect”! Of course you want to be like them!

Is that how you pick your role model?

By their boobs? Their airbrushed skin? Their famous “friends”? That might be what the magazines, and a lot of our culture want, but I have a problem with that.

I have two major problems with choosing a role model based on looks and fame.

#1: It Isn’t Fair 

It does a disservice to the people you are looking up to. Role models deserve to be seen for who they are as people. Their fame or their hair is not what makes them unique and special. Your role models should be recognized for their talents, their kindness, their hard work and passion. They are more than a pretty picture on a magazine. Let who they are as people inspire you.

#2: It’s Unrealistic 

Wanting to be like someone based on beauty or fame can lead to comparing yourself to unrealistic goal. The truth is, most of the photos you see aren’t even real. They are photoshopped like crazy (these pics are ridiculous). That’s because no one looks like a magazine cover, not even celebrities. The people you look up to would not want you striving to look a certain way or become something that you are not.

Don’t compare yourself. Don’t value people based on their popularity or looks.

Instead, be encouraged by the things that make your role models awesome people! Let them be a sense of inspiration to remind you that you are capable of endless possibilities.

Whether your role models are on magazine covers or not, remember that they are human beings. They are not perfect. They are real people with real talents and real flaws. In many ways, they are just like you.

Who are your role models?

What makes them awesome? 

– ttfn G –

Dear Hope: Everything Seems To Be Falling Apart

Dear Hope,falling apart
Everything seems to just be falling apart. My family is always mad at me for basically no reason, my friends are being anything but what a friend should be, my teachers are giving me bad grades even though I deserve higher ones and give us homework that they are actually not allowed to give us rule-wise, and to top it all off most kids are bullying me because of my race, gender, sexuality and other stuff. I’ve developed social anxiety and depression and I’m too scared to anyone about it. No-one cares about what I’m going through. It’s just impossible to deal with. Is there a way you can help me?
Thanks,
-Falling Apart

Dear Falling Apart,
Having social anxiety and depression can make you feel helpless and alone. You are not those things. There are people who care, people that can help you, and things you can do yourself.

The idea that nobody cares can sometimes mean that you are not getting the emotional support you need. People don’t always know or understand what someone else is going through. That doesn’t mean they don’t care. They are just dealing with stuff, too. I know you’re scared, but you need to tell someone what is wrong.

It’s scary to put yourself out there, but it’s worth it. You matter. Your worries matter. You deserve to be heard. Trust me; it will be a relief to get your feelings out.

I know you can do this. You were brave enough to send in this question. That shows you want things to get better. I’m not going to sugar coat this. When you talk about it, you may not get the reaction that you hope. Unfortunately, you cannot predict or control how someone will react. Again, remember that it does not mean they don’t care. It just means they’re not sure at first how to handle it. Give them a chance to process and figure it out with you.

If you feel uncomfortable telling your parents first, that’s okay. You could talk to an aunt, uncle or a grandparent. Just find someone to talk to.

You could even talk to a counselor online. I don’t which country you live in, but you can talk to any of these links online from any country. They also have a lot of helpful information.

Childline – You can contact them about anything. You can talk to them through email, or online chat. They also have a message board with a variety of topics and stories. It is a private and confidential service.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – You can also contact them about anything. They are there to listen and offer you advice on how to get the help you need. It is not just about being suicidal.

Remember you do not have to go through this alone.

You also said you are being bullied. That is not your fault and you don’t have to put up with it. This is just another reason to talk to someone. You need help to stop the bullying. It is not something you can or should handle on your own. Here is a site I’m Getting Bullied, you can share your story with others or read theirs.

Taking care of yourself is an important part of this process.

Sleep: Make sure you are getting enough sleep. Sleep will help relax you and energize you for the next day.

Get moving: It can be hard to get active when you feel down, but it really helps. A quick walk can give you a positive boost.

Eat: Food contains the vitamins you need to feel your best. Don’t skip meals. Try to avoid too much sugar and caffeine. Sugar and caffeine can leave you feeling tired and irritable.

Focus on the good: A good suggestion is to journal about the things that make you happy. When something good happens take time to write it down. Read over them any time you’re feeling down. Use them as little reminders.

Although these things are good, they do not replace you getting help. I’m glad you reached out with this question and now I am asking you to talk to someone. I care about you and know that this can get better.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope