Monthly Archives: March 2016

Dear Hope: Am I the Right Size?

Dear Hope,penis size
I’m a 15 year old guy. I have not dated yet, but I have a concern. You know when you see guys comparing their stuff in movies well the guys at my school do that too. When we are in the locker room after gym they are all talking about size and sex. I try to stay off to the side and change quickly, but I still think about it. They go on and on and make a big deal about it. I want to know how can I tell if I’m the right size? Can you still have sex if it’s too small? I’m too embarrassed to ask anyone else.
– J

Dear J,
The talk you hear is just talk. Guys like discussing these types of things and most of it is exaggerated. Yes, you can still have sex no matter the size of your penis. There are no size requirements.

Everyone is different, so you cannot compare yourself to someone else. Some of the guys might be more developed than others. Everyone develops on their own schedule.

Don’t be embarrassed to talk to a dad, uncle, or someone you are close too. All guys have gone through puberty and I’m sure most have wondered about their size.

If you have any more concerns or you think there is a problem talk to your doctor. They are completely fine with you asking questions. No question freaks them out.

Until then don’t worry about your size, you are still growing. Plus, it’s no one’s business what size you are. The important thing is that you accept your own body.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Dear Hope: Afraid I Will Start Smoking Again

Dear Hope,Friends Smoking Pot
I have recently stopped smoking pot. I used to smoke all the time. I would get stoned before going to class and I just didn’t give a shit about anything. I was failing everything. Then a new family moved next door to us. They have a son my age and I thought he was a complete nerd. I didn’t want to be friends with him but my mom made us hang out. I would barely talk to him at first, but then I actually started to like him. He’s cool. He doesn’t drink or smoke which is totally new to me. At first I would get stoned when we hung out then I started to feel guilty. Then after two months I realized I hadn’t smoked in a while. Plus I started doing better in school. My problem is my old friends don’t understand. They are pissed that I won’t smoke anymore. They don’t understand why I hang out with him. I’m afraid I will start smoking again just because I hang out with them alot. What should I do?
– Jake

Dear Jake,
You need to do what is right for you. Your improved grades and new friendship show that you have been making great decisions. When it comes to your old friends, it sounds like they do not respect some of the changes you’ve made.

They are having what they consider “fun” and they want you to join in. They want things to be the way they have always been. It’s hard to see change in others because it makes you review yourself. They might even be feeling a little guilty. Change can be hard, even when it’s good.

You cannot change who they are, but you can expect them to respect your decisions. Be straight with them. It’s still you. You’re just not smoking pot anymore. Explain that you want to hang out, but you don’t want them to be pressuring you. If they are good friends, they will get accept you not smoking and get over it.

If you feel too tempted or they keep pressuring you, it’s time to move on. You need people around you that are supportive of your choices. Even though it’s hard to let go, it can sometimes be necessary. Don’t feel guilty if you need to move on. Instead, focus on all the positive things in your life. You have a new friend that sounds great and your grades have improved.

Friends are an important part of life. They should support you, not hold you back.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

I Am Here

I Am Here

This week we received an email that touched our hearts. We are always so thankful for all the emails we receive. We read and appreciate each one.

This email was from someone who prefers to stay anonymous, but we thought their words were worth sharing.

I am here,
do you notice me?
I am here,
do you see me?

If I fall, will you pick me up?

I feel like I am not whole
I’m in pieces that I can’t’ seem to put together.

What is the glue that I need?
Love? Hope? Happiness?

If I knew, I could start being me again.

What will it take to make me whole?

I know everyone has felt this way at one point in life. We don’t need a name to connect and relate to this writer. We can all feel these words.

Even though this person chose to be anonymous, I’m sure they would love to hear your thoughts.

Dear Hope: They Think My Boyfriend Is a Bully

Dear Hope,Mean Boyfriend
I don’t know why I am writing you. I don’t think I have a problem, but my friends do and they said I should ask you. They think my boyfriend is a bully. I don’t agree with them and I love him. Their mad because he says things about people. Like he always calls our one friend fat and the other stupid. He doesn’t mean it and he’s joking, but they don’t like it. I think they shouldn’t worry about it but they do. So I guess what do you think?
– No Problem Here
Dear No Problem Here,

This is an interesting situation. You don’t believe there is a problem, but you want my answer. Okay, here it goes.

First, I think your friends have a right to be upset. Even if he is not saying things to be intentionally hurtful, hearing things like that never feels good. It’s hurtful to have negative things said about you.

Secondly, I don’t think it’s funny. When you talk about other people, it is considered bullying. He might not really be a mean person, but he is acting mean and disrespecting people you care about.

Third, I don’t think it’s nice of you to put up with someone treating your friends like that. They don’t deserve to be around someone who is unkind to them, and neither do you.

I thing you should talk to him. He may not even realize that what he is saying is offensive. Explain that it is hurtful to your friends or to anyone for that matter. See what happens. If he stops, that’s great. If he continues, he may not be as nice as you thought.

It might come down to choosing between him or your “friends”.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope