Dear Hope: Not Ready For Boys
All my friends are starting to text boys, and I am not. I have to admit I have quite a few crushes in the past, but I got really angry that my friends are texting boys. They even invited all the girls to go ice skating, and I got really angry. It would have been fun, but I decided not go because the boys would be there. (And I actually had something going on that day) I sent one of my friends a text explaining that I was grossed out that most of the girls in my grade text these two obnoxious boys. I know it is normal for my age for guys and girls to start texting each other, but I just got really upset. I feel sorta bad now, but am still mad. I’m upset that boys sit at our table now, girls text them, and boys inviting us to activities. I know I can’t stop them, but I am just mad. I am not ready to grow up. I am not ready for boys acting like this. I remember in fourth grade or third grade when we all thought they were just obnoxious, but now they just think they are the coolest thing in the world. I know my feelings will change soon, but right now I am not ready for this. Any advice?
People growing and changing is a part of life, especially at your age. This change might be difficult, but it’s happening. Your friends have decided to include boys. Even though you don’t like it, it’s their choice who they talk to and hang out with.
But how do you handle it?
I think you already know that getting mad was not the right thing. They didn’t do anything to hurt or upset you, they’re just doing what feels right to them.
You have to decide where you fit in to all of this. If you are not ready to hang out with boys, then don’t. There is no time line for these things. Sometimes people just follow along with the crowd.
I love how you know who you are. That takes strength and courage.
You have to understand that your friends will talk about the “boys”. They will text and go out with them. You should accept who your friends are, just as they should accept and respect who you are.
Try being cool when they sit at your table, after all, they are just people. But make sure you have some time with your friends in a boy free zone.
When you are invited out, it’s up to you whether you go. Don’t feel like you have to if that’s not your thing. You know you will have your time with the girls.
Boys shouldn’t interfere with your friendships, so don’t let them. Actually, the boys really have nothing to do with this. It’s how you and your friends handle it.
Continue being strong and do what is right for you. Also love your friends for who they are.
Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.