Dear Hope: My Girlfriend Wants to Hide Her Pregnancy
My girlfriend just told me she’s pregnant. I love her and I will stick by her no matter what. We are going to have the baby. But I don’t know what to do because she does not want to tell her parents. She has a great relationship with them. They are not strict or anything, but she doesn’t want to disappoint them. I think we should tell both our parents. What do you think? Is it ok for her to not tell them? Can she hide it?
Congratulations on becoming new parents. It may not be how you expected this to happen, but this is a new, wonderful journey for you both.
It can be scary to tell your parents. They have a certain idea of how your life should turn out. Their child being a teen parent is not what they imagined, but that doesn’t mean they won’t accept it.
I understand she doesn’t want to disappoint them, but they will find out eventually. It’s better to tell them now. She really doesn’t know how they will react. They might be very supportive. Even if they get upset, telling them early gives them time to adjust to the idea that their daughter is having a baby (their grandchild).
I think you definitely should tell both sets of parents. You will need their support, not only emotionally, but possibly financially as well. They’ve had babies, so they can help you prepare. Your girlfriend also needs good medical care. It’s important to take care of the baby and herself. When you try to hide a pregnancy, sometimes the health needs get neglected.
When you decide to talk to your parents, pick a good time. Don’t pick a time when they’re busy. At the same time, don’t use “it’s not the right time” as a reason to avoid telling them. Let your parents know you have something serious to talk about. Don’t drag it out. Just tell them. Be calm and explain the situation. Don’t be upset by the way they react. This can be overwhelming and they might need some time to process. Avoid getting defensive or angry. Try to understand this can be shocking to them. Remember they love you and this is big news.
Here is a helpful site: Teenage Pregnancy: 10 Tips for Telling Your Parents
This site is full of stories about how teens have told their parents they’re pregnant. It will give you some encouragement.
Remember, your parents ultimately want what is best for you. You need to be honest with them. Stay strong and continue to support each other. It is scary, but I know you can do it.
Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.