Dear Hope: My Friend Won’t Stop Borrowing My Stuff

Dear Hope,borrowing
I have this problem with my friend and I have no idea what to do. She is always borrowing my stuff. At first I didn’t mind, but she never returns anything. I try and say no, but she pushes and makes me feel guilty. I’m tired of it, but I don’t know how to say no. Now she wants to borrow my new stuff. She came over the day after Christmas and was like wow this stuff is cool I will have to borrow it. Yeah my stuff is cool, but it’s mine. I want to say back off, but I can’t. I don’t want her taking my new stuff cuz then I won’t have it any more and I just got it. What can I do?
– It’s Mine

Dear It’s Mine,
It sounds like your friend might be taking advantage of you. She may not be doing it intentionally. She probably really thinks she will return the stuff, but then forgets. Even if she intends to return your stuff, she isn’t actually returning it. You need to stop letting her borrow. I know that’s difficult, but you need to be strong. It’s your stuff. You have every right to say no. It’s ok to say no.

She is not respecting your feelings or your stuff. You need to have a talk with her. Tell her how you feel and explain why you are now saying no. Let her know that you will not let her borrow anything else. Explain that this does not change how you feel about her as a friend. You respect her friendship enough to stop this now.

If she’s a good friend she will understand. If she doesn’t then you need to remember you are still doing the right thing. It’s your stuff. It is your right to keep it. You got a lot of nice gifts for Christmas and you should be able to enjoy them.

If she does ask again, be brave and firm. Stand up for yourself, say no and mean it.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

One comment

  • I think she is intentionally. What I would do is go to her house and get your stuff back before she has a chance to ask for your new stuff. Then when she asks to borrow your things, look her dead in her eyes and say No. She’ll throw a fit and won’t talk to you. That’s OK. You’ll make new friends… That won’t take advantage of you.


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