Dear Hope: I Feel Like I’m Not Welcome
I think I’m pansexual and I asked Mum about what God in my religion thinks of being gay and apparently He doesn’t allow it and it’s wrong. I feel like I’m not welcome. I get that I still have a long way to go in deciding who I am but the person I feel like now seems unwelcome.
– Still Deciding
Dear Still Deciding,
Pansexual is the feeling that you could love anyone. How beautiful is that. The idea that everyone is worthy of love and your heart gets to do the choosing. You don’t have to choose by someone’s idea of what is acceptable.
It can be so confusing trying to figure out who you are. The good thing is there is no rush. You have time to decide what is right for YOU. What you choose does not have to be what someone else wants for you.
I know this is hard when you’re worried that you mom may not accept who you are. But, the truth is she may never understand. Her religious beliefs might make her feel that she cannot accept a different lifestyle. It does not mean she doesn’t love you. You do not need her approval, but you should respect her feelings. You can try having an honest conversation with your mom and let her know how you feel. Be open to what she has to say, but remember, you ultimately have to be true to yourself. No matter what anyone else thinks or feels, you need to be true to YOU.
Reach out to other people and listen to their stories. Connecting is a great way to learn how other parents have handled similar things.
Many people struggle with figuring out who they are and how it fits in with their religious beliefs. Does God allow it and will God still love me? My thoughts are that God is love and you are loved. This is your journey. Take time the time to figure out what is right for you and what you believe.
Dealing with all of this can be hard and stressful. If you are ever feeling overwhelmed, need someone to talk to or somewhere to turn, you can always find information through the Trevor Project. They also have a social networking site called TrevorSpace where you can connect with people throughout the world.
Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.