Monthly Archives: November 2015

Dear Hope: Do Face Masks Work?

Dear Hope,face mask
Do face masks work? I have never used a face mask but have been wanting to. I’m just not sure if they are good for your skin or with one to use. Any advice would help.
– Masked

Dear Masked,
Facial masks can be a great addition to your regular face cleansing routine. There are several different kinds, so it depends on your skin type. You can use a face mask to get rid of acne, firm your skin, hydrate it, or even out your skin tone. Whatever your concerns are there is probably a face mask that will help.

Clay Masks – Are usually for oily T-zones or acne-prone skin.

Hydrating Masks- Soothe and moisturize your skin.

Exfoliating Masks – Can soften and smooth your skin.

If your skin is sensitive, find one that says for sensitive skin or says good for all skin types.

If you want a more natural approach, you can make your own masks.

You shouldn’t have any problems, as long as you pick one that is right for your skin type and you follow the directions.

You can usually do your face mask 1-2 times a week, but follow the directions of which ever one you choose.

Face masks can also be relaxing. Have fun!

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

 

Dear Hope: My Best Friend Won’t Forgive Me

Dear Hope,best friend forgive
My best friend won’t forgive me. I didn’t blame her at first but it’s been a month and she still won’t talk to me. Let me explain what happened. She told me a secret, a big secret. She swore me to secrecy and I promised not to tell. I wasn’t going to tell, but I let it slip out to another friend of ours. This other friend spent the night at my house. We stayed up all night and we were just talking about everything. I was tired and it just came out. I felt horrible right after I said it, but it was too late. The other girl told her the next day and that was it. She has not spoken to me since. I have tried to apologize but she won’t even listen to me. What can I do? We have been best friends for 6 years. Please help
– Sorry

Dear Sorry,
I’m sorry you are going through this with your friend. We all make mistakes. You shouldn’t have told her secret, but you already know that. The problem now is that you want her to forgive you. You need to understand that she may never forgive you. This was a big secret for her and she felt comfortable sharing it with you. She is hurt that you betrayed her trust. Even if you are ready to move on it may still be fresh to her. I think it’s a great idea that you want to apologize, but you can’t force her listen.

Until she is ready here is what you can do:

  •  Send her an email or go old school and send her a letter in the mail. Say all the things you want her to hear. Apologize. Don’t make excuses. Actually admit you were wrong. Remind her of the good times in your friendship. How much your friendship means to you. Tell her you that you understand if she needs more time. Let her know you miss her and you will wait until she is ready.
    Then you wait. She may not read it right away, but it will be there when she is ready. She can read it on her own, privately. Sometimes that’s easier than talking face-to-face.

 

  • Give her space, but don’t avoid her. If she tries to talk to you, keep it simple. Don’t expect things to fall back to where they were. If you see her, smile and say hi. The point is to let her know you are still there, but not pushing.

After six years of friendship, she knows you. She knows you are a good person and a good friend. Everyone makes mistakes and I think if you give her time, she will forgive you. I hope everything works out. Try to be patient with her.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

 

What Does It Mean To Grow Up?

Hello you wonderful people!growing up

I just had my birthday! Actually, it was about a month ago (months kinda feel like minutes in the life of a working college student). My birthday was great by the way!

I don’t know about you, but when I have a birthday, it gets me thinking. It puts me in this philosophical, existential, “what does it all mean” mood. I start questioning things. Specifically things like what does it mean to grow up?

I feel like “growing up” is something you hear a lot from adults when you are younger.

They say things like “what are you going to be when you grow up” or “you need to grow up”.

As if this defining moment in your life will suddenly be thrust upon you and ta da! You will finally be….be what?

There are a ton of questions that run through my nonstop thinking, crazy mind.

Why is there this pressure to grow up?

Why can’t you be who you are, right now? Why do you have to wait until you are grown up?

What does growing up mean to you?

Do you think it is necessary or just an idea used to get us to act “responsible”?

Is getting older and growing up the same thing?

Do birthdays ever make you feel different?

I know this blog is on question overload. I really wanted to share where my brain has been, hopefully get you thinking, and to hear what your thoughts are.

These are just some of my mind ramblings, but I really want to know what all of you think! Who better to ask than people who are “growing up” right now?

Let’s start a discussion about what it means to grow up. Leave lots of comments because I want to hear your opinions! Your thoughts may even show up in new post later.

I will kick off the discussion with this quote…

growing up quote

– ttfn G –

Dear Hope: Super Nervous About My Driving Test

Dear Hope,Driver's License
I’m taking my driving test in two week and I’m super nervous. I have been driving with my mom and I feel pretty good about it. But taking the test with someone else is freaking me out. What if I can’t parallel park, what if I forget something?? Will I be able to pass?
– New Driver

Dear New Driver,
It sounds like you are confident with your driving. That’s awesome! You already have a great chance. They are not looking for you to be absolutely perfect. They want to make sure that you can obey traffic laws and drive safely. There is a lot of information online about what to expect during your driving test. If you look it up, you can get specific information for your state.

Now about those nerves

Try not to be hungry when you go. You don’t want your stomach growling on top of your nerves.

Focus on passing the test. There is a saying where focus goes energy flows. Basically, it means what you focus on happens. So don’t focus on not being able to parallel park or forgetting something. Don’t focus on your nerves. Instead, focus on passing, focus on knowing what to do. (Because you DO know what to do and you’ve got this!)

Take a deep breath. Breathe and try to relax. Remember the person who is testing you wants you to succeed. They are not trying to be intimidating. They are just doing their job.

Not everyone passes their driving test the first time and that’s ok. Sometimes it’s not being prepared and sometimes it’s the nerves. At the end, if you did not pass, they will tell you what to work on. You can always take it again.

You are ready! Quiet those nerves and have a good test.
Good Luck!

Send us an email and let us know how it goes.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope

Dear Hope: I Feel Like I’m Not Welcome

Dear Hope,Deciding
I think I’m pansexual and I asked Mum about what God in my religion thinks of being gay and apparently He doesn’t allow it and it’s wrong. I feel like I’m not welcome. I get that I still have a long way to go in deciding who I am but the person I feel like now seems unwelcome.
Help!
– Still Deciding

Dear Still Deciding,
Pansexual is the feeling that you could love anyone. How beautiful is that. The idea that everyone is worthy of love and your heart gets to do the choosing. You don’t have to choose by someone’s idea of what is acceptable.

It can be so confusing trying to figure out who you are. The good thing is there is no rush. You have time to decide what is right for YOU. What you choose does not have to be what someone else wants for you.

I know this is hard when you’re worried that you mom may not accept who you are. But, the truth is she may never understand. Her religious beliefs might make her feel that she cannot accept a different lifestyle. It does not mean she doesn’t love you. You do not need her approval, but you should respect her feelings. You can try having an honest conversation with your mom and let her know how you feel. Be open to what she has to say, but remember, you ultimately have to be true to yourself. No matter what anyone else thinks or feels, you need to be true to YOU.

Reach out to other people and listen to their stories. Connecting is a great way to learn how other parents have handled similar things.

Many people struggle with figuring out who they are and how it fits in with their religious beliefs. Does God allow it and will God still love me? My thoughts are that God is love and you are loved. This is your journey. Take time the time to figure out what is right for you and what you believe.

Dealing with all of this can be hard and stressful. If you are ever feeling overwhelmed, need someone to talk to or somewhere to turn, you can always find information through the Trevor Project. They also have a social networking site called TrevorSpace where you can connect with people throughout the world.

Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.

Dear Hope