Dear Hope: Lonely Sister
I have a problem. It’s not an important problem so you may not answer, but here it goes anyway. My brother and I have always been super close. We always hang out, we watch movies and play games. He is about to turn 15 and I’m 12. He just started high school and he never has time for me anymore. He is always on his phone or in his room. It’s hurting my feelings but I don’t know how to handle it. I hope you answer my question but I understand if you don’t.
– Lonely Sister
Dear Lonely Sister,
Every Dear Hope question is important. We read and take every question seriously. The only reason some questions are not answered here is because of the amount that are sent in. Sharing your questions not only helps you, it can help someone going through the same thing. I’m so glad you were brave enough to share your question.
I know it can be hard to understand why you’re not spending as much time together. I’m sure he would like to spend time with you. He may not know how to balance everything he has going on right now. Starting high school is a big change. It takes some time getting used to. His schedule is busier and the classes are harder. He will be meeting new people and experiencing new things. It’s important for your brother to have this experience. It will be important for you to have your experience also when you get to high school.
Try to understand what he is going through. He just started school and it takes time. Be willing to give him some time to adjust. Tell him that you understand he’s busy, but you miss hanging out. Let him know you’re up for a movie or game when he has a chance.
For now, until he has time, find your own fun. Don’t wait around for him. He will always be your brother. He will always be there, but you need to find other things to do. Do things that will make you happy and that will help you feel less lonely.
As he gets used to his new routine things will start to settle down. He should be able to fit in a game or movie. If it’s been a while and nothing seems to change then you need to talk to him. Be honest and tell him that you really miss hanging out. Explain that you need some big brother time. Let him know it’s hurting your feelings. Don’t be afraid to express how you feel. Even though you might not spend as much time together as you grow older, you can always be there for each other.
Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.