Dear Hope: Just Shy or Does He Not Like Me?
Hey! I’m in high school and there is this boy I’ve been liking since November! We have been texting for about 4 months now! I know he likes me and he knows I like him! We really click and we can have conversations for hours over the phone! One problem we have……we have only hung out once and it was in a group setting!!! I know he is a VERY shy guy but still….. I ask if he wants to hang out and he always want to but when the time gets close to us hanging out he backs out last minute. For example…. I invited him over and then an hour before he said his dad made dinner and so his family was having “fam” night! I just don’t understand!!!!! I like him so much and I just don’t know what to do! Do you think he is shy or honestly just doesn’t like me?!? I’m getting tired of him backing out last minute! Tell me what I should do and what you think please!!!
When someone is VERY shy, doing certain things can be difficult. He might feel uncomfortable or nervous with it just being the two of you. That does not mean he doesn’t like you, but he probably just feels more relaxed with the group. As long as he has not given you any reason to distrust him, give him some more time. Plan a few more group dates and give him time to build his confidence.
When you are talking for hours on the phone, gently bring it up. Ask him if he is nervous to hang out. See how he responds. Let him know you understand that he sometimes has other plans, but backing out at the last-minute is frustrating.
Give it some more time and see how it goes. If things don’t start to improve in the next month, it’s possible he is not ready to date someone.
It’s great that you really like him, but remember to always do what is best for you.
Thank you for being brave and sending in your question.