3 Lessons I Learned From Being a #Loser

loser

I am so angry! I am so sad! I feel like a #loser. I am soooo disappointed! Do I just suck? UGH

All of these thoughts rushed through my mind recently. They hit me hard and lived in my brain longer than they should have. They were there for a good reason, or so I thought….

It all started with a writing competition. I love to write, but not just here (although I love this too) but I like creative writing (poetry, short stories). Two years ago I found this writing competition for creative writing and decided to enter. Everything that I entered won! I was beyond excited, crazy person excited. So, I entered again this year.

I wrote a story! I spent a ton of time on it. I worked really hard getting every piece right and I was super excited about the way it turned out! It was my favorite story that I’ve written.

All that work and my favorite story won NOTHING! Nothing? NOTHING!?

I was heartbroken! Beyond disappointed. Remember the beginning of this blog? Well, when I found out I lost; I thought all of those things. Here’s a recap if you forgot: I am such a loser! I suck! UGHH! I literally threw myself a pity party for like a week. I blew up pathetic imaginary balloons and everything. I know, super dramatic, but it’s true.

It hurt me because it changed the way I saw myself.

Before the big loss, I thought I was a pretty good writer, but after… I was convinced that I sucked.

I didn’t want to write any more. But I LOVE to write so of course I missed it. Then I started thinking about a life lesson I had recently learned and I knew I had to decide what I really wanted and make a choice. So, I started writing again. I started facing the fact that things didn’t go the way I wanted and I began to realize that it was okay. It didn’t feel okay at first, but it actually was.
I put way too much importance on a competition. I wanted someone to judge me, but only if I got the answer I wanted.

These are the 3 lessons I learned from being a #Loser:

1. Competition can be fun if it is for the right reasons.

What is the point? It started out as a way to have fun, to get feedback on my writing, and push myself. Win or lose, those reasons shouldn’t change. I actually had a lot of fun and I learned about my writing style.

2. Losing shouldn’t change the fact that you love doing whatever it is you do.

Losing shouldn’t change the fact that I love to write! I let the results of one competition take away the simple fact that writing makes me happy.

3. The most important thing I learned was the outcome doesn’t change ME.

I let the loss seep into my mind and bully me. I let it convince me that I have no talent. But it isn’t the end of the world and it doesn’t mean I have no talent. Maybe I have things to work on, but I am still a writer.

Now that I have had some time to get over myself I can see that you will not always get the results you want, but it doesn’t matter. I put myself out there. I learned something. And I got to do the thing I love: write! Someone’s opinions do not change who I am and they should not change the way I see myself or my talents. They can give me things to work on and think about, but they do not mean I suck and they definitely don’t make me a loser!

I would definitely do it again! I’m not gonna lie, losing is hard….really hard, but it opened my eyes.

I have more confidence in who I am now. I guess I’m not a #Loser after all.

Has anyone out there lost something they put their heart into?
How did you deal with it and what did you learn?

– ttfn G –

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