Dear Hope: He’s Not My Dad
I have a situation I don’t know how to handle. My mom is dating this guy and he acts like he thinks he is my dad. He’s ok I guess, but he’s not my dad. I feel bad for my mom because she really likes him and I don’t want to be rude and hurt her feelings. My dad died four years ago and no one can replace him.
Of course no one can replace your dad. Your dad is irreplaceable to you. It’s possible he is just trying to be nice and get to know you because he is dating your mom. But he needs to be careful to not overstep your boundaries.
You need to let your mom know how you feel because she will start to notice if there is tension. I know you are worried about hurting her feelings and being rude, but it’s still important to talk to her. Just calmly explain how you feel. Tell her that you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you are worried about him wanting to take your dad’s place. Let her know that you don’t dislike him and that you’re glad she is happy. Give her examples of when you think he is trying too hard and figure out how to handle it.
If you are comfortable you can even have a convo with him. Just let him know that you like him, but you are afraid he is taking on too big of a role in your life right now. Let him and your mom know that you need some time to adjust to this situation.