i dont even know myself anymore. i skip school for 4 weeks, hoping somebody would care but none. and i feel so alone. i dont even want to live anymore. but i still love my parents. i love my sisters. but i have no friends here, i am so alone.
– a loner
Dear a loner,
I’m so sorry you are going through this, it sounds very overwhelming. This is a difficult time in your life and trying to understand it can be hard. It seems this has been going on for a while and it does not sound like it’s getting any better. You might be dealing with depression. Have you tried talking to your parents? It’s important to let them know what is going on. They may not understand what you are going through, but if you let them know you are very serious, they can work towards getting you help. You might need to see your doctor or get some counseling. Sometimes parents appear clueless because they have no idea what is going on in your life. They get busy and overwhelmed with life also. (Not making excuses for parents, but sometimes they just need you to literally spell it out for them so they can understand)
If you feel like there is no way you can talk to your parents then talk to a school counselor or a teacher. The thing is to keep talking till you find someone to listen. You deserve being listened too. This is not the life you are supposed to be living. No one should feel this way.
You need to learn to love yourself and to feel good about life. When we love ourselves and we are happy and confident we give off a good vibe. It helps when making friends and talking to other people. Think of it this way, you want to be the kind of person you would like to hang out with.
Things you can do to help:
You can journal- write it all down- Sometimes it can really help to just get all of your feelings out of your head. Let the stuff go, stop holding on to it.
Join a group or start doing an activity – Find a hobby- What are your interest? Find groups that have the same interests as you. You may not know anyone there, but it is a great place to meet someone and you will know you have something in common.
Try volunteering- This may sound like the last thing you want to do, but having to focus on something else takes the focus off of yourself. Volunteering releases stress. You can meet some really great caring people while volunteering.
I want you to understand you should not be feeling this way. You deserve a better life and a better life is waiting for you. Take the steps to feel better, it’s worth it.
Please know if at any point you become too overwhelmed you can always call the suicide hotline.
I’m glad you reached out. My hope is for you to be living the happy, fulfilled life you are supposed to be living.
Are you afraid to cry?
Do you feel silly letting tears slip down your face?
Are you worried people will think you are too emotional?
Do you only cry in private, but still feel like a baby for crying?
If you answered no to those questions then you get it.
IT’S OK TO CRY!
If you answered yes to any of those questions, I want you to go ahead and cry.
Have you ever heard the expression “having a good cry”?
It implies that crying is good. Can that be? Is it true?
Why, yes, yes it is.
When you are feeling emotional or stressed, let it out. If you feel like crying then let the waterworks flow. No matter what kind of crier you are, little tear droplets or big crocodile tears, water and snot running all down your face kind of tears, let them out.
Crying is a great way to lower stress and bring up your mood. To release all the emotional pressure that has built up inside of you.
Tears are said to flush out toxins.
Crying can help give you clarity. After a good cry your brain can feel less foggy. It might help you figure out something that has been on your mind.
Crying is a natural thing and you should not feel embarrassed about crying. Also we should not make others feel embarrassed or ashamed or silly for crying.
So let it out! Grab a box of tissues and bawl like a baby.
Have a good cry once in a while.
If you find yourself crying every day for long periods of time. That could be more than just a good cry. Still nothing to be ashamed of, but it could be signs of something different. You should talk to your parents, counselor or doctor if you find yourself crying all the time.
Let the tears start to fall!
– NBL V –
This is going to sound weird coming from a guy, but I’m still a virgin. It’s not like I haven’t had girlfriends or opportunities. I feel like I want to wait, but my friends always give me a hard time. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’s not a big deal and I should just get it over with. Guys don’t wait, so I shouldn’t either right?
– Virgin Boy
Dear Virgin Boy,
Sex is a big deal. It’s your body and you decide when you want to share it with someone else. It has to be right for you. No one else should decide or influence when the right time is. Not all guys just “get it over with”; you are not the only guy waiting. But even if you were, it’s still your decision. Something to consider: don’t just let your body do the deciding. Having sex involves your mind, body and spirit. Your body will be the loudest at the time, but involve your mind and emotions in the decision making. Think about how you will feel about it after. Is this the right time? Is this the right person? I can tell you that I think it’s great that you are waiting until you’re ready. But the goal is for YOU to have control over the decisions for your body, not anyone else.
3 LIES I HAVE TOLD MYSELF
We have all lied. If you tell me that you haven’t, you are lying to me. But this isn’t a blog about lying to other people. This is a blog about lying to yourself. Have you ever told yourself a lie? I have. Sometimes we are so sure about something that we convince ourselves it is true even when it is soooo far from it. Those can be the worst lies because they hurt the person you will always have with you: yourself. Have you ever lied to yourself? Unfortunately, I know I have.
Here are 3 lies I have told myself.
1. Who I am is not good enough.
That is a BIG FAT LIE! We think we aren’t cool enough, pretty enough, or smart enough to be who we really are so we pretend to be something we aren’t. ENOUGH!!! When I think I am not good enough, all it does is make me feel like crap. If you wouldn’t want someone else to say those negative things to you, why would you bully yourself?
Truth: I am good enough.
2. I can’t do something.
Lie. Why do we tell ourselves that we can’t? If I was being honest with myself, I would really say things like: I’m too scared to go after that dream, I am too lazy to do the work to make that goal, or I’m afraid of what others might think. But instead, I just say “I can’t.” I’m tired of telling myself that I can’t do something. If you want something bad enough, you can make it happen. All the words “I can’t” do is crush hope and I am not in the mood to have my hope crushed.
Truth: I can do whatever I put my mind to.
3. I’ve got everything under control.
This isn’t something that I acknowledge is a lie that often, so listen now before I take it back. I don’t like to admit that I don’t have it all together, but I don’t. I like to think that I have everything under control: my emotions, my school, my friends, and my life. But that just isn’t always true. Sometimes I screw up (I can’t believe I just said that out loud). Pretending that I didn’t screw up or that I don’t need any help does not actually help me or my life at all. Admitting to mistakes, asking for help, and evaluating what you need to work on are extremely important parts of growing up and making your life better. Sometimes, admitting that you don’t have everything under control is exactly the honesty you need to move forward.
Truth: I don’t always have it all under control and that is okay.
There you have my 3 biggest self lies and the truths that beat the lies every time. Do you lie to yourself? Can you relate to any of the lies I tell myself? Share the lies you tell yourself and share what truth you are replacing the lie with!
– ttfn G –
Here is a letter to parents sent to us from an anonymous teenager.
Dear mom and dad,
Being a teenager is hard and we seem like we live on different continents. Here are some things I want you to know.
I want you to listen.
I want you to understand.
I want you to pay attention.
I want you to remember what it felt like to be a teen.
I want you to know about my life, but you ask at the wrong times and when I try to tell you, you seem distracted.
Do you know that I’m hurting?
Do you know that when I’m rude or when I yell it’s my way of saying I’m here and I need you?
I need hugs even when I act like I don’t
I need everything to make sense, because it doesn’t.
I need you to realize that I have pressures too and when it all builds up in my head it gets confused and comes out in a not so pretty way.
When you talk to me all I hear is yelling and all you hear is what you consider talking back. It’s like we are both speaking different languages and we need a translator.
If I shut down and avoid the world I’m not being a brat, I might be depressed.
My life is hard right now, so please don’t make it seem less than it is. Even if you know it’s just the hormones or it will get better blah blah. I don’t care right now, to me it sucks.
I don’t want your solution; I need to figure out my own solutions.
Don’t embarrass me because you find it funny, it still hurts me.
I do love you, but back off a little.