Dear Hope: I’m So Confused

Dear Hope,

I’ve recently lost 150 pounds and have been trying to stabilize my new life as a lighter/happier person in my new body. I like someone, but no one-not even my crush- even notices me… I don’t want to say that I try to be what people want me to be but I try to be good enough for someone. I think I’m attractive but no boy ever comes my way. Sometimes I think something’s wrong with me or the way that I am. I think in perfectly imperfect though? 😦 I’m so confused… Love always, Buddy

Dear Buddy,

First off congratulations on your weight loss! You must be very proud of yourself.  I’m so glad to hear that you are trying to stabilize your new life, that is a huge change and needs adjustment time.  I think perfectly imperfect is awesome; no one is perfectly perfect and no one needs to be.

You say that you want to be “good enough for someone”, but that someone should be you.  You have already taken steps for your health, but now work on building more confidence.  Don’t just “think” you’re attractive – own it!  Don’t try to be what others want you to be, be who you are, and be the best YOU.  You are strong and amazing!  I know it can be sad and lonely sometimes, but waiting for that special person to notice you and to see you for the amazing person you already are is worth it.  If you try to be what your crush or someone else wants, relationships can’t be real.  You deserve real and so do they.  Be yourself. It is better than good enough.

Think about your weight loss – You couldn’t have lost 150 pounds overnight. It took time, but was worth the journey.  Life is that way also – It takes time, but so worth the journey.

I wish you all the success moving forward.  Have fun being you, don’t be anyone else.

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