Dear Hope: I don’t know what to feel

Dear Hope:

At the start of school year I had this incredible crush on a popular guy ‘T’ I tried to approach him and get to know him, but he kinda shunned me after he realized I was falling for him.  Now, 6 months later a really sweet guy ‘S’ in my French class has taken interest in me and we’ve been chatting the entire day long.  The thing is I still want to be with T and I can’t stop having feelings about him but S gives me more attention than T has ever.  I don’t know what to do or feel right now.  What’s It All About?

–          Bent not Broken

Dear Bent not Broken,

By saying that you don’t know what to do or feel right now, you are actually answering your own question.  If you are not sure how you feel, then don’t make a move at this time.  Take some time to figure out your feelings.  Look at the entire situation.  You have a crush on T, but it doesn’t seem that he feels the same.  When he started realizing how you felt, he backed off; that was his sign.  It can take time and be hard to get over the feelings you have, but you want someone who feels the same way about you, as you do them.  You deserve that.  It’s great that S is really sweet and you seem to enjoy talking to him, but do you have feelings for him?  Just because he gives you more attention is not a reason to date him.  He also deserves someone who really has feelings for him.

Take some time to figure out if you have feelings for S, and be truthful about the situation with T.  One sided relationships don’t work.

If you decide you just want to be friends with S, let him know.  Explain that you really think he is sweet and you enjoy talking to him, but you just want to remain friends.

Having a crush and dating can be fun, but not necessary to having a good life.  Don’t date someone just to date.  Take the time you need and you will make the right decision.

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